gary

the firey Word

“The Bible is not an end in itself, but a means to bring men to an infinite and satisfying knowledge of God, that they may enter into Him, that they may delight in His Presence, may taste and know the inner sweetness of the very God Himself in the core and center of their hearts…if my fire is not large it is yet real”

A.W. Tozer
The Pursuit of God

fire and love of God go together. Does the word of God fire you up!? Or does it remain at the surface of your existence? I tell ya, Tozer sure got it right in synthesizing the process that ought to be for the Christian drinking God’s Word.

gear

world series..redsox..just random

dude...there is nothing like the world series, and even more, nothing like the celebration afterward. i don't care what folks say...basketball and football don't compare. the world series victory is perhaps the most glorious moment in sports. to have played over 160 games, to be in a clubhouse with teammates that have become your second family, and to have suffered, hoped, and rejoiced throughout the season, especially the playoffs...there such a fullness to the victory.

they say nothing is harder in profession sports than hitting a baseball. i totally agree, and extend it by saying nothing is harder in team sports than winning the world series. don't you love that scene at the end? the players swarm out of the dughouse to converge and hug each other at the center of the field. pure jubilation. but it's not just about the team, but it's about their adoring fans. there is deep connection, almost spiritual, between the team and fans. and the passion. there's such a strong sense of it throught it all....

alright. alright. anyhow...much props to the redsox. let me just say i've always been a redsox fan. there's something traditional and throwback about the redsox. the players, the city...it's just very down to earth, and represents something right and pure about sports. it's not about the money and what money can buy. (yankees, lakers :)...k....i like the yankees too, but not as much :)) it's about the heart and what it offers...passion baby!

not to be covetous, but man, to be a baseball player. k...i tell ya, forget all those piano lessons and nerdy preschools, my son is going to be baseball player. nurture vs. nature..well, i don't care, i'm going to highly work on the nurture part. you remember the last scene in the movie the natural. yeah, i'm going to be throwing the ball with my son everyday. there's no way he's not going to be a baseball player. got to start them out young. haha..

kurt schilling...he's the man...and he loves the Lord...i tell ya...

it's all good.

gear

free, latency, and tea

i tell ya, free isn't always a good thing. received word there was free chow mein and fried mini-drumsticks. i walked over and found two large aluminum containers, the ones you see at chinese buffets. i saw the greasy reflection from the chow mein and drumsticks. i didn't want to eat the spaghetti i brought, so i decided to go for...what the heck, ah? anyhow, i grabbed half plate full of chow mein, and 5 drumsticks. i went back to my desk and threw it down. hmm..still hungry. okay...go back for quarter plate chow mein and two drumsticks. after the first drumstick, i felt the greasy feeling kicking in. i finished up the dish, and now i feel sick. man...7 drumsticks..what was i thinking? i even ate the skin. man, this is worst than KFC, even the waffles and wings i ate in atlanta.

three lessons:

free isn't always the best
i'm too old for this
there's latency with greasy food, so wait before getting seconds

man...all i gots to say is bring on the tea, yo!? cut that grease..thank goodness i'm going to the gym. the guilt is also kicking in...bring on the tea!

gear

heavy powerbook and budget airline

I should be appreciative of this apple powerbook; especially since I didn't pay for it, but it is pretty heavy. Maybe it's me, maybe it's b/c I'm older. I don't know. All I know is the laptop gets uncomfortably burdensome after one or two blocks...yeah, it's probably me. I'm not as strong as I used to be. Heck, I probably haven't been really big or strong since high school. Well, at least I can still launch the football or brush back the batter. :)

Yep, just sitting here on this flight to Atlanta. Before this flight, I never heard of Airtran. Isn't it easy to mix it up with ATA? So you know an airline is budget when:

i) the plane looks like a very large semi...the maintenance workers don't look that small standing next to the plane
ii) you look at the plane, and see maintenace crew...wait! My bad. I mean the stewardesses dragging the garbage out of the plane, along the pavement, and toward the dumpster
iii) when the plane is devoid of any video capabilities, you are only read the emergency evacuations procedures, no pictures whatsoever! And no movies, not even commercials!
iv) The business section is only three seats, and besides the basket of snacks in the middle, looks awfully famaliar...yeah, it looks like coach! ...suckers ..haha
v) The middle pocket seat has a Hertz advertisement sleeve sticking out...what the heck?
vi) When the pretzels you receive say gourmet pretzels, but are as gourmet as a restaurant named "gourmet Chinese restaurant" that sells 1.25 take takeout
vii) When the middle isle doesn't have any lights to blink during an emergency, two solid yellow tape
viii) When you take a four-hour flight, and hear the man behind you ask, " are you serious, there are no meals served on this flight?"
ix) When you have cheapo Gary Leong on the flight and loving it! If an airline offered even lower prices, but in doing so, had to resort to lining the airplane with park benches, you know I'm all over that!

---3.5 hours late...k..el cheapo gary has a neck ache. Scratch number #9. gary needs a pillow or something...yeah...I'll have a crooked neck when I get to Atlanta. Call me captain crook.

Gear

man at taco bell...back to reality

The fluorescent lights functionally illuminated the Taco Bell, but also unassumingly provided the zombie-like, reflective, and cloudy mood of a simple transaction...

Dressed in an outdated plaid shirt and faded jeans falling off his hips, the hunched-back man stepped up to the cashier, and with a coarse, yet gentle voice ordered a soda. The cashier cordially obliged and asked for $1.46. Probably in his 50s, though looking like he was 60s, the man gingerly squeezed and wiggled his hand into his front right pocket. The faint and distinct sound of change jostled back and forth as he struggled not so much to find the right coins as to prove the little worth and dignity that remained of him - he could pay the bill. During the process, the man leaned on the counter, at times barely able to balance himself with his large stomach and thin legs. Slowly but surely, the man dug up 1.50. Again with a gentle voice, the man repeatly told the cashier, making sure he heard, "keep the change.... keep the change.... keep the change." With a compassionate heart, the cashier acknowledged the man's small but significant gift, offering the man his best smile of pity and respect. The man delicately moved on to his next ambition, with drink in hand, he focused and walked toward his one friend sitting across the room.
...
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Seemingly unnoticed, especially by many of us busy folks with strong ambitious and elevated goals, this speaks so much about the state of life - it is fallen. Though we may not always see these little events, the Lord does see them and His heart breaks for these people - the decay of man, his deglorification.

So, I observed this transaction last night at the Taco Bell in Sunset. Maybe I was emotional, but while I was watching, I started to tear up inside. If it weren't for my friends outside, I would have let those tear gush out. I looked at that man, and I couldn't help but want more for him. This event fleshed out all the things that are wrong with me, and moreover, all things that are wrong in this life.

Is life that bad? Let me tell you, look at life straight up and you will see life sucks! If you embrace life, not just yours, but others, you will see something is clearly wrong.

Somewhat related, I had a thought this past Sunday at service: "worship/prayer is a means by which we transport ourselves into the reality of heaven." If I could remain at that state, I would never want to come back to this reality. Honestly, it hurts too much to come back down and see the reality of life at its current state. I'm not talking the isolated American dream life or even the skewed American Christian life...no, not life lived at the surface, that subconsciously blocks out all that is bad, and receives all that is seemingly good...nah, not the "subset"/partial life with barriers that shield us from the brokenness of this world; which ironically, blocks us from seeing our own brokenness.

Is life that bad? You bet it is! Was it Soul2Soul that sang the song, "back to reality"? I'll come back to this reality and won't deny the wrongs of it. I'll fully embrace it - that it sucks - yet all the while fully embrace the hope of the reality to come - that the Lord is good. Yep, for now, I have faith and hope...I can't wait till He comes back.

Romans 8:20-21

20For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.

This is my hope for myself...this is my hope for you...this is my hope for that man at Taco Bell

gear

crock pot..veggies

One thing I learned yesterday. When you cook stew in a crock pot (a first for me), outside of carrots and celery, vegetables disappear after 8 hours. Mang..you're suppose to add the veggies later!

older..life..fuzzy, broad, yet clear

It's funny how when you get older, you would think you become more focused. It's been my experience that the contrary is true. As I grow older, all things I used to block out like my emotions, extraneous thoughts, and feelings do not remain in their boxes. I walk along life, and thing become more confusing as all these areas overflow and mix with one another in the center of my consciousness. It's my belief that the world's view of intelligence is the ability to control and isolate the various areas of our lives; so to speak focus. If that's the case, I've definitely become more stupier (J). I cannot control the control the things that infiltrate my mind. With a disregard of my desires and control, they penetrate my barriers, providing interference that makes life less clear. These areas illuminate, and fully express the pressing areas of my life. For example, my discontent with work doesn't reside solely in the nature of the work, but perhaps involves my personal life - relationships, callings, and purpose. Those other areas intertwine themselves with work because it's not work that's a pressing issue, but life in its current state.

Yes, life is broad and wild. It needs to be that way, because like a painting with all its colors, texture, and framework, life has the areas of emotions, relationships, and context that FULLY reflects the essence of what is. (if that makes sense) Yep, it's not to say it's good to be all over the place, but it is good to allow those areas to integrate, to paint themselves into something solid and true. Thank goodness I'm not alone in putting the pieces together, stroking the brush so to speak. Nope, the Lord is in charge of that. As I defer and refer to Him, He'll paint all these areas into something true, something broad, yet very focused. Theoretically, I believe that as I get older, life will become more fuzzy and broad, but focused in it's broadness and fuzziness. It's the clinche of less of me, more of Him. It is a perspective that doesn't reference and integrate areas of life on how I see, but how He sees. The beauty of in this process or growth is that by not seeing, I am ironically able to see.

Alright, another thought I had while walking home today. I need to eat some dinner now. It's 8 pm. Just to clarify, it doesn't mean God will always be clear in life, but He will be at times, especially when we look back - remembrance. Yeah, you know, the famous "the footprints" Yep, where I am in life, that's my hope He is clear now as I remember the past that evidently speaks of Him and His amazing strokes.

gear

nate and linda's wedding pics

here are nate and linda's wedding pics.

http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EeIMW7lu0cNXuw

nate and linda's wedding oct 2004

ny pics and....hope in the city

alright, i finally uploaded my pics from my ny trip. here's the link.

new york pics summer 2004

i also found a journal entry i wrote on my palm during one of my morning devos at a starbucks there. yeah, i got one of those stupid nerdy foldable keyboards. :)
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I must say there is something special about NY. In the midst of all the noise, there is a strong thread of coherence. There is s sense of people seeking life, seeking hope to something beyond the mundane. It's rebellious human spirit that does not accept things as they are. I look at the diversiy of folks in teh city, many of them seem like they are unsettled, unsatisfied, and willing to take a risk to hope, to find, and know. Somehow in the sum of all these searching souls, there is a foundation of camaraderie, the identificaion of the human struggle and a sense of hoping not only for oneself, but for others who are also struggleing to find - to experience and find their place, which if anything, can be found in this small world of NY. To even more generalize, there is something wrong, but yet right about the city. It's a bunch of noise, but it also a symphony that reflects the community of pain and hope. I just can't wait until the Lord comes, when we dwell in the New Jerusalem, a city filled people with scars, but also people fiilled with restoration and clarity. Somehow I do believe that the cities aren't as evil as what people perceive them to be, but like everything in this life, there are some good, albeit short, and redeemable qualities found in them. Anyhow, another scattered thought from a scattered man, who like many in this city, hopes to find His place in this life, though His place is secure in the life afer.