check out my nieces. man...didn't know it, but babies cut the cheese:) but it's all good b/c babies get the most grace. :)
gear
check out the lyrics to this poem/song. It was sung at City Church. Dang..it's eloquent and deep in its simplicity.
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Come Boldly to the Throne of Grace
Come boldly to the throne of grace, ye wretched sinners come;
And lay your load at Jesus' feet, and plead what he has done.
"How can I come"? Some soul may say, "I'm lame and cannot walk;
My guilt and sin have stopped my mouth; I sigh, but dare not talk."
Come boldly to the throne of grace, though lost, and blind, and lame;
Jehovah is the sinner's Friend, and ever was the same.
He makes the dead to hear his voice; He makes the blind to see;
The sinner lost he came to save, and set the prisoner free.
Come boldly to the throne of grace, for Jesus fills the throne;
And those he kills he makes alive; He hears the sigh or groan.
Poor bankrupt souls, who feel and know the hell of sin within,
Come boldly to the throne of grace; the Lord will take you in.
I’ve been perusing through ppl’s blog lately, and not suprisingly, people often times write about relationships. No matter what stage of life, relationships will also be an engaging and controversy topic. For the most part, the postings are similar with slight nuances from individuals.
Though it’s good to hear about “non-spiritual” qualities ppl look for in a partner, I wonder if ppl think about the spiritual qualities they look for. I propose we create a spiritual inventory survey. If these seemingly “non-spiritual” qualities are important, how much more the spirituals ones, ah? (Not to decisively separate spiritual and non-spiritual b/c all things speak of a greater reality/life)
It’s good to enjoy each other and be compatible in a very simple sense. But sometimes I wonder if relationships are just about these non-spiritual qualities. We talk about these non-spiritual qualities much more than we do the spiritual qualities. Areas of romance become the most decisive factors, to “seal of the deal”. Though it is important, is that really what ppl care about?
For believers, though we say God is primary, it seems more a legalistic and cultural requirement than an underlying concern or need. Perhaps it’s already difficult to find a compatible person, why make it more difficult by adding another requirement? It’s not practical.
We talk the importance of the woman to be cherished and respected, and the man to supported and encouraged. What shared experiences do we ultimately dream of? Walking in the beach, having a nice dinner, going to black and white ball, cuddling during a sunset, kissing in front of the stars… Again, it’s not to say that they are necessarily wrong, but do they become the primary in what we subconsciously seek? I wonder that about myself? Do I dream of these shared experiences? Sure, but I also dream of shared spiritual experiences. I dream communing with the Lord together: singing praise songs, reading the word, busting out Operation World and praying. There aren’t many experiences more intimate than these, especially praying together.
Just to clarify, my intent is not to be judgmental. Heck, I don’t always focus on these spiritual qualities. I’m just blogging some thoughts. I personally find it difficult to be counter cultural, to include God in all my desires, especially in the pursuit of a “suitable” partner. It’s not at all to condemn romance or the desire for romance – that is definitely needed for a healthy relationship - but more to consider the inclusion of God as center of all our desires; especially relationships that gives us a sense of significance…which is why we sometimes forget about God when we get into them.
Alright, another long blog. I hope it doesn’t get me in trouble. I also noted that ppl sure get a lot of feedback from relationship blogs. I’ve probably only publicly posted like two in my lifetime. I keep the other stuff private, the non-pc stuff…what I really think. :)
gear
I went to the U2 concern last night. It was really good, not only for the music, but also for the imparted perspective. Unlike other musicians and artists, U2 has always wielded its influence toward a cause and purpose. Regardless of his beliefs – his faith position – Bono’s values are both clear and broad. Last night, he encouraged the audience to sign up for the pact at one.org, a movement toward unifying Americans to combat global AIDS and poverty in the World.
While we were singing along with U2 by echoing this grunt (this repeated sound), I felt unified with everybody b/c of the commonality shared at the most fundamental level –we’re all human. (Bono emphasized that we are all equal in the eyes of God - referring to the human level.) As we sung, it represented the human spirit that longs for freedom, the rejection of the way things are, and the longing for something more. The singing provided an escape from the “way of life”, a control structure that provides predictability and security, but that also enslaves and burdens, inhibiting the full and artistic release of the human spirit. For that short period, we detached ourselves from life as it is and attach to a hope for ourselves and humanity - we cry out and reach out for restoration together. Essentially, it is simply a rebellion against life in its current state. Christian or not, we can all identify with this frustration and dissatisfaction.
(1)
At the concert, the hope was placed primarily on humanity to save itself. The direction of the cries rested on humanity, to be unified in order to bring restoration. For believers, the direction is a bit different. We direct our hope to God, to restore all that is short in us and in creation as a whole. However, it doesn’t mean we don’t participated in something like one.org, for we are human and can identify with the wrongness of life. But we primarily rely on the God, to usher His healing and kingdom to a fallen world. Perhaps that is the major difference between a U2 concert and worship - the direction of hope.
(2)
Overall, I found it insightful b/c it connected me to humanity in broad way. Sometimes Christianity can be so cultural as to disconnect itself from humanity. Christ is 100% human and 100% God. At least for me, I’m more and more realizing the importance of the human part. (I think that’s what Bono found frustrating with Christianity. I am sticking with God. ) I also feel that is what John Pope II did very well. He rested on God, but never disassociated himself from humanity and its struggles/cries. Because of that, he became a great evangelist.
Another long blog. I didn’t want to sound preachy with below verses. I just thought they were relevant.
Time for tennis. :)
gear
(1)
[Romans 8:20, 22 “For the creation was subjected to frustration…in hope that (it) will be liberated from its bondage to decay…(it) has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.”]
(2)
[Romans 8:20, 23, 24 “in hope that creation itself will be brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God… we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit…we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24For in this hope we were saved. ]
I went to this fellowship where this girl shared about her journey that led up to a commitment to be overseas. The sharing was clear, honest, and real. I could identify with many of her points and struggles. It was encouraging testament of a God who heals, restores, and inspires.
So I can’t sleep as I’m sitting up in bed kind of revaluating my own life, and the times I felt most free, moved, and inspired. Actually, I realize I don’t reflect on all those times as much b/c it brings to the forefront my real struggles, that of my own control and that of freedoms in Christ. My careers decisions reflect this tension; that I vacillate between secure professions in medicine, optometry, even computers and my passions in missions and life. As a result, I think people may misunderstand me. I express seeming interest in one area, a practical one, and another interest in completely unrelated area, a more passionate one. Yet it is not that I’m so much all over the place as I am divided. At the core, I know my passions, but I find it hard to pursue them b/c they lead me further away from the “norm”, away from comfort, and away from my peers; and thrust me into God and the fuller reality of pain and hope, of death and life. I find that you cannot enter the fullness of God in this life, without being called into the darkness of this world, even my own life. Yet in the midst of this darkness, my hope in God becomes the only hope, the only light, and the only answer.
My short-term missions trips have provided these fuller life experiences. Instead of completely working through those experiences, I somewhat quickly readapt and conform to everyday life - though subconsciously I knew I had been forever changed. After the trips, I always have trouble sleeping partially b/c of the jet-lagged, but primarily b/c of the experienced freedoms that made so much sense over there, yet made little sense back here. I would shed tears left and right, triggered by the immediate nostalgia and memories: teammates, students, and in general, people. It is broader perspective of life that we as Americans have been shielded from; one of pain, of simplicity, of need, and of hope. The faces of people flashed through my consciousness; people that I walk pass in the streets, many of whom walk to and fro with structured lives to coup and survive. They are distant from their pains, and very close to their joys. All the while, they are completely human, perhaps even more so than us prosperous and well-to-do Americans. Indeed, they have seen a lot of life. Yet they know not fully the answer to life, and have eternity unresolved. Yeah, I never intentionally looked at my previous pictures from my trips, b/c it vividly reminds of what I’m passionate about, and at the same time, what I find unresolved in my own life. It’s funny when you look at life, it not only tells you about life, about others, but it also tells you about yourself.
This year has been restoration year. I feel renewed, wanting to forgo the security of my profession, even my own abilities to acquire a different and more secure profession, and to attempt to enter the fullness of life. I want to slowly remove the barriers that “closes my eyes” to reality, to life; in hope that it will push me closer to God for strength and perseverance. All those considerations of medical school and moving to NY are forms of escapes. I no longer want that. I want to see and have all the Lord wants for me.
What does that mean? Hmm…I won’t get into details. Maybe I’ll blog about it later.
gear
Heya, captain cool here… yep, at the supermarket tonight again. My mission? Milk and 8 tubes of toothpaste using two one-dollar coupons. My Dad reiterated several times to get the large tubes, the 8.4 oz units. I get to Safeway, looked at the toothpaste, and thought, why not take less paste for more whitening? I deposited the 7.8 oz. whitening gel in the cart, and then grabbed two bags of French Fries - buy one get one free. I used my Safeway card, coupons, and paid the bill. I looked at the receipt and realized she didn’t give me my “get one free” bag of French Fries. I explained the error to her, and she refunded me the difference in cash. In the meantime, the line behind me had gotten fairly long. I glanced at the receipt again, and then found another error - the toothpaste didn’t have the sale price. I again drew attention to the receipt, and at the same time, began to feel like some old Chinese dude who holds up the line by staring at the receipt to double, triple, quadruple check everything. Anyhow, she sent a person to check on the toothpaste, and discovered I took the non-sale item. We then had to redo the transaction, returning the non-sale items for the sale items. During the process, the line had gotten even longer. Yep, captain Chinese cool man here, making sure that big old corporate Safeway doesn’t rip me off this minority man with a pension that doesn’t kick in for another 30 years. If a Father can live this experience vicariously through his son, this would be my Dad, though he probably wouldn’t feel embarrassed at all b/c old folks get more grace, and young adults, well, they just get labeled geeky and rigid. Though not as trendy as the Marina Safeway, this Northpoint branch definitely has its share of cool yuppie young adults…well, the one exception tonight of course, is the Chinese dweeb that twice held up the line with transactions corrections/refunds. I guess there’s a first time for everything. An experience I need not share to my children. It most certainly isn’t glorious.
gear
Humility is recognizing that I am no better than the most wretched soul. I too fall short. If I fail to relate with the fallen humanity as a whole - not place subconsciously view life from some higher spiritual plane - then I fail to identify with who I am, and what I am constantly in need of.
Exaltation is recognizing that I no less than the most righteous saint.
I am just as undeservingly forgiven. If I fail to claim the God's mercy, His love for me, then I fail to identify with Christ, and discount His work at the cross.
gear