Sometimes I don't know how to respond when people ask me about my job or
work. I typically give short responses, like I work in IT. I leave it
that. If they probe further, I begin to mumble because it's not
something I find particularly interesting - I don't really like talking
about work that much. It's not to say that I hate work. Rather it has
more to do with an overcompensation of my part, of how little identity,
significance, or worth I want to derive from a job. It's not entirely
the correct Christian response, to somewhat dichotomize work and life
outside of work.
However, if somebody ask me about what I'm passionate about, that could
involve a lengthy response. It definitely seems less shallow than the
work/career question; it relates more with aspirations and dreams. Some
Christians respond with passions for missions, social justice, youth
work, or discipleship. I thought about it a bit this past week. I
definitely have passions in these areas, but I'm not sure if I want to
be categorized in any one of them. Am I passionate about missions? Of
course, it has changed my life. Am I passionate about social justice?
Of course, it shows me where life is, and my dissatisfaction for its
current state. Am I passionate about God? Most certainly, no stronger
influence in my life. But I wouldn't call myself a missions guy, or
social justice guy, or even a God guy. (The God guy is again an
overcompensation on my part. This time it has more to do with not
separating myself with people, with humanity. ) I neither like having to
prove my worth to be accepted nor having to separate myself to be different.
I'm simply a human being, like everybody else, following God. Referring
back to identity, I realize that I love talking about things that are
down to earth, lowest common denominator stuff. The two things I want
to be known for: being human and being a Christian. (A person who tries
to follow Christ the best he can...not some Christian looking at life
from the outside)
Back to the question, what am I passionate about? I'm passionate about
life, defined as being human without being overly carnal (everything
goes and is swell, even our sinful tendencies), and following God without
completely separating myself humanity. (Sometimes Christianity can be
approached so mechanically and stiff that it is dehumanizing. ) In
others words, life approached in this manner is integrating my faith in
God as expressed in the context of humanity, even in its falleness...
that I am going toward what I was intended to be. To be human in the
ideal sense (not fallen, but risen or what was intended in the garden)
is to feel and identify with others, to be an insider, and to sort of
speak, fellowship, yet all the while being connected and trusting in
God.
Funny how when I articulated it in my head, this entry was a lot
shorter, but when I went to write, it became significantly longer.
gear
check out these reflection quotes from two weeks ago. oh man...talk about getting me juiced up..."the hilarious paradox that we are unlovely but loved, and unable to love but free to try without condemnation."....well put!
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Reflections
The less I love somebody the more tolerant I am of self destructive behavior and the more I love somebody the less tolerant I am of self destructive behavior. I want to shake him and say “can't you see? Don't you know what you are doing to yourself? You are becoming less and less yourself every time I see you.” I am not angry because I hate them. I am angry because I love them. If I hadn't loved them I would walk away. Real love stands against deception, real love stands against lies that destroy. E. H. Gifford offers a true analogy, 'the more a father loves his son the more he hates in his son the drunk, the liar, and the traitor.' Anger is not the opposite of love -- hate is – and the final form of hate is indifference.
— Rebecca Pippert
Hope Has Its Reasons
Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.
— C.S. Lewis
The Four Loves
The extent to which someone truly loves will be positively correlated to the degree the person is stunned and silenced by the wonder that his huge debt has been canceled.……A stunned and silenced heart is free to love because it has been captured with the hilarious paradox that we are unlovely but loved, and unable to love but free to try without condemnation.
— Dan Allender and Tremper Longman III
blessings are not dispensed according to one's incredible faith.
rather, blessings are ultimately dispensed according to God's incredible grace and mercy.
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if it was the former, Christianity would be more religious than
relational. it would divert attention from God to man, his/her effort
in exhibiting faith.
how God operates is never defined by what man does, but who God is, and
His goodness towards toward man. honestly, can you imagine the heavy
burden of thinking, "God would have answered my prayers, blessed me, if
I prayed enough, was a better person, or exhibited more faith? yes, yes
next time, i'll try to have more faith. " it is not biblical or healthy.
thank goodness we are free from this burden. we come with faith not to gain.
instead, we come with faith to surrender, to acknowledge our need and
hold on to our hope in Him. it is founded on trust aspect of the relationship,
not in our religious state or efforts.
i don't know about you, but i never exhibit great faith when i go
through trials and struggles. when i looked at my life, God didn't
bless, help, or answer my prayers b/c of my great faith. He answered me
b/c of His incredible grace! God is remarkably clear and consistent in
that sense - amazingly gracious.
gear
From last friday's SF Chronicle, quoting a father ..
"I was hugging my little girl....She kept saying, 'Daddy, are we going to die?'...I told her the truth. I said, 'If we go, we're going together.'"
"You know that fear with a child, their eyes wide open and they don't know what's coming? It went to my heart man. God done saved us"
....this goes to my heart man...gear